Table of Contents
After the worship, Narendra recalled to M. his various meetings with Sri Ramakrishna.
I used to see it frequently. In Jadu Mallick’s garden house the Master one day touched me and muttered something to himself. I became unconscious. The effect of the touch lingered with me a month, like an intoxication.
When he heard that a proposal had been made about my marriage, he wept, holding the feet of the image of Kāli. With tears in his eyes he prayed to the Divine Mother:
After my father’s death, my mother and my brothers were starving.
When the Master met Annada Guha one day, he said to him:
Narendra’s father has died. His family is in a state of great privation. It would be good if his friends helped him now with money.
After Annada had left I scolded him. I said, ‘Why did you say all those things to him?’ Thus rebuked, he wept and said:
I said to him, ‘What is it that happened to me?’
Turning to the devotees, he said:
(Both M. and Narendra laugh.)
Narendra’s foreknowledge of things
I have noticed a peculiar thing. Some men, objects, or places make me feel as if I had seen them before, in a previous birth.
They appear familiar to me. One day I went to Sarat’s house in Calcutta, on Amherst Street.
Immediately I said to Sarat: ‘This house seems familiar to me. It seems to me that I have known the rooms, the passages, and the rest of the house for many, many days.’
I used to follow my own whims in everything I did. The Master never interfered. You know that I became a member of the Sadharan Brahmo Samaj.
The Master knew that women attended the meetings of the Brahmo Samaj. A man cannot meditate with women sitting in front of him; therefore he criticized the meditation of the Brahmo Samaj.
But he didn’t object to my going there. But one day he said to me, ‘Don’t tell Rakhal about your being a member of the Brahmo Samaj, or he too will feel like becoming one.’
I have attained my present state of mind as a result of much suffering and pain. You have not passed through any such suffering.
I now realize that without trials and tribulations one cannot resign oneself to God and depend on Him absolutely.
Narendra’s ego
A friend one day said to Rādhika: ‘You are egotistic. That is why you insulted Krishna.’
Whereupon another friend said to the first: ‘Yes, Rādhika is egotistic, no doubt. But whose ego is it?’ What she meant was that Radha was egotistic because she regarded Krishna as her Lord.
It was Krishna Himself who kept that ego in Radha. What the Master meant was that it is God alone who has kept this ego in you, so that He may accomplish many things through you.
The conversation turned to other devotees.
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